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Posts Tagged ‘Humour’

Men Are Happier People

My sister sent me a recent e’mail- which made me laugh- Here are some of the points.

If Laura, Kate & Sarah go out to lunch, they call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out to lunch- they will afectionately refer to each other as Fatboy, Godzilla and Four-Eyes.

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave & John will each throw in £20, even if its only £43.50. None of them will have anything smaller or will admit they want the change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item she does not need- but its on sale.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone and get the post. a man will dress up for Weddings and Funerals.

A woman know’s all about her children’s- Dentist appointments, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Brightest Blessings.

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You Just never know

I work in a health spa in a large Hotel. A few of my colleagues are aware I am a Witch and they are quite happy with that. Today I went along to the back office department to do some faxing & photocopying. One of the girls already at the copier was having a spot of paperjam bother. My friend in the office asked how my Reiki was going- I told her fine, did she want me to have ago at the copier ( in jest). The girl having the problem then said ” I think it needs some Hocus Pocus”.  Perfectly seriously my friend said to the unknowing girl ” Oh she could do that to”. The office staff were in hysterics- it was quite funny. Brightest Blessings.

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